In the first segment of this series I stated that being your own #1 “means seeking balance in your mental and physical health, learning to work through anxieties and stressors, and taking ownership of your actions… It also means doing right by yourself first, because only then can you give your best to the people closest to you.”
I also outlined 5 behaviors that inhibit us from achieving oneness. There’s more to discuss, so here they are…
5 more signs that we’re not being our own #1:
We’re refusing to learn
“Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young.” – Henry Ford, founder of the Ford Motor Company
Learning is fundamental to our personal growth, and it’s far from simply academic. Lifelong learning enhances our ability to tap into our own innate wisdom, think critically, understand how things work, overcome our fears and insecurities, distinguish right from wrong, mix with different crowds, and so much more. We must value the importance of learning, and encourage it from one another. It’s especially vital in an age when we’re constantly subjected to barrages of misleading information.
We’re lying
Sure there are the white lies we tell to protect other’s feelings and ease tension, but lies can quickly become self-serving ways to boost our egos and shield our personal insecurities or perceived weaknesses. It’s at the point when lying becomes both self-destructive and abusive to others. Accepting truths about ourselves and being truthful with others eases complexities in our relationships, and is paramount to self-ownership and acceptance. Why complicate things with lies when the truth will set us free?
We’re starting other people’s houses on fire to boost the value of ours
Whether it be through manipulation, thievery, abuse, or any other form of subjugation, if our tact in life is steamrolling other people for our own personal gain then we’re sacrificing our humanity. Chipping away at the security and wellbeing of others is destructive and shameful. It’s a sign that we’re lacking psychological wellness. We must take care of ourselves and others by lifting each other up, not hacking each other apart!
We’re exercising double standards
A classic example of this is referring to promiscuous women as sluts, while dudes are bro-fived for plowing their way through copious amounts of one night stands.
Double standards perpetuate stereotypes, subjecting some to abuse while celebrating others for the same behavior. It genuinely makes no sense in a world of people that tout equality. There is no virtue in defending our abusive actions, and those of the people we choose to support, while simultaneously scorning others who do exactly the same. The whole “holier than thou” thing is utter malarkey. Engaging in such behavior is a stark reflection of our own personal insecurities and biases.
We have a well-established comfort zone
Falling into basic routines, and actively resisting new experiences, limits our personal growth and exposure to opportunities. Pushing the boundaries of our zones, traveling, meeting new people, trying new foods, visiting new places… All these and more expand the richness of our living experience, our knowledge of the world around us, and our appreciation of others. Stagnating literally gets us nowhere, and the more we fall into a routine of stagnation the more difficult it can be to pull ourselves out of it. We need to explore our world!
The more we understand about aspects of our lives that inhibit our personal growth, the closer we become to oneness.
In the 3rd segment of “Be your own #1” I’ll pivot to a discussion about strategies for overcoming the obstacles we face.
Any ideas or comments you have to share are more than welcome! 50P is a place to safely share your insights.
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ALL articles in this series:
Be your own #1 (part 1 of 5) – Introduction & Signs that we have work to do
Be your own #1 (part 2 of 5) – 5 more Signs we’re not being our own #1
Be your own #1 (part 3 of 5) – 12 Strategies for taking ownership
Be your own #1 (part 4 of 5) – The last 5 Signs we’re not being our own #1
Be your own #1 (part 5 of 5) – 12 more strategies & conclusion