More than ever the world we’ve created is robbing us of valuable attention that we should be giving to ourselves. The growing barrage of information, technology, social connections, life commitments, entertainment and media that we face every day leaves us little time to for individual reflection and healing.
Being your own #1 means seeking balance in your mental and physical health, learning to work through anxieties and stressors, and taking ownership of your actions… It also means doing right by yourself first, because only then can you give your best to the people closest to you.
5 signs that we’re not being our own #1:
We’re avoiding responsibility
We’re inflicting an undue burden upon ourselves and others when we’re dodging our personal duties. It’s even worse when avoiding responsibility leads to leaching off of others and bridge burning. The obstacles in our paths often require much less effort and commitment to accomplish than the energy we expend worrying about and avoiding them. We can get things done more easily and efficiently, with MUCH less stress, when we adopt a drive toward responsibility.
We’re lacking accountability
Careless decision making and denying the consequences of our actions is woefully counterproductive. If combined with an over inflated need to defend ourselves, the issue becomes much more problematic. We should be aware of the potential outcomes of our decisions before we act. If we do fall short in our actions, it’s important to exercise humility and make amends for our wrongdoings. It’s vital that we take ownership of ourselves and the things we do.
We have a tendency to say “It’s none of your business”
Our individual actions are a drop in a bucket much larger than ourselves. Our business IS the business of the people immediately surrounding us. They have to deal with the mayhem and drama that we stir up. We’re here together for a reason. There is no “It’s none of your business” when it comes to those closest to us. We must be aware of the impact we have on others and act accordingly.
We seek (too much) praise and attention from others
We all need and deserve positive attention. However, there’s a point (and it doesn’t take a lot) where airing all our personal angst in public or on social media, hogging the spotlight, monopolizing conversations, posting countless selfies, and any kind of ‘look at me’ behavior goes WAAAAAAY TOO far. Doing so may be garnering attention, but it’s not positive or healthy. Being our own #1 is about finding real, balanced, confidence in ourselves… NOT seeking it through validation from others.
We’re putting other people’s fires out while our own house burns down
To our detriment, we go out of our way to please and care for others at the expense of our own health and security. There’s no problem helping those near and dear (it should be an inherent part of who we are), but as soon as attending to others starts to break us, it’s time to start taking care of our own shit. We’re not doing anyone any good if We’re falling apart too. “Please put your own oxygen mask on before assisting others.”
At this point I’ve identified a framework for being your own #1, and provided some examples of why we sometimes fall short.
Over the next few weeks I’ll present several more examples, and also identify ways to achieve greater oneness.
I sincerely hope you can find some understanding and value in this.
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ALL articles in this series:
Be your own #1 (part 1 of 5) – Introduction & Signs that we have work to do
Be your own #1 (part 2 of 5) – 5 more Signs we’re not being our own #1
Be your own #1 (part 3 of 5) – 12 Strategies for taking ownership
Be your own #1 (part 4 of 5) – The last 5 Signs we’re not being our own #1
Be your own #1 (part 5 of 5) – 12 more strategies & conclusion
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